In our 20s, we often find ourselves restless, discontented, and craving change. Life sometimes feels like it's on autopilot, but behind this dissatisfaction lies a valuable opportunity for reinvention. This period of discontent—whether it's boredom, stagnation, isolation, or discomfort—is a signal that change is necessary.
But how do we begin the process of transforming our lives? This article will walk you through understanding these emotions, how to shift your mindset, and actionable strategies to reinvent yourself in a sustainable and fulfilling way.
1. Identify the Driving Emotion Behind Your Restlessness
The first step to reinvention is recognizing what’s making you feel dissatisfied with your current life. Common feelings that push us toward change in our 20s include:
Boredom: A sense that nothing exciting is happening, that life feels monotonous.
Stagnation: Feeling like you’re stuck in a certain area of life—often your career or long-term goals.
Isolation: Lacking connection, feeling lonely, or experiencing FOMO (fear of missing out).
Discomfort: An instinctual feeling that you no longer fit in your current life—whether it’s due to habits, friendships, or situations.
These feelings are telling you that something needs to shift. If you don’t act, you risk becoming accustomed to this discomfort—a process called habituation. Over time, we adapt to unpleasant emotions, and the longer we wait, the harder it becomes to reverse that sense of comfort with the uncomfortable.
2. Flip Your Emotional States
Once you've identified the feeling driving your desire for change, think about what life would look like if you pursued its opposite. If you’re feeling bored, think about what excites you. If you're stagnant, seek growth. If you're isolated, focus on building connections. Visualize your life as full of the things that counteract those initial negative emotions.
Now, for the next 30 days, focus on acting in ways that are the opposite of the emotions you're feeling:
Boredom: Make a list of activities you’ve always wanted to do and commit to doing one every couple of days. Sign up for a hobby or class you've been meaning to try.
Stagnation: If you're feeling stuck in your career, spend 30 minutes each day applying for new jobs or learning a new skill.
Isolation: Attend social events or classes that help you meet new people. Push yourself out of your comfort zone to connect.
Discomfort: Push yourself to do things that are uncomfortable but in the correct direction, rather than just tolerating what you’ve come to see as normal.
3. Harness the Power of Novelty
New experiences do more than just add excitement—they can change your perception of time. A 2016 study found that as we age, time feels like it's moving faster because we experience fewer novel things. The less we learn and explore, the quicker life seems to pass.
But in our 20s, we’re too young to feel this way. Novel experiences create a sense of newness in life that can bring back excitement and fulfillment. Embrace this by seeking out new experiences that shake up your daily routine.
4. Visualize Your Next Era
Once you’ve spent some time breaking out of the emotional patterns of boredom or stagnation, it’s time to visualize who you want to be in your next chapter. Here are a few questions to help guide your vision:
What dreams have you put off for too long?
What excites you the most—what could you talk about for hours?
What does your ideal life look like in five years?
What chapter of your life are you ready to close?
What’s holding you back from becoming the most authentic version of yourself?
Your answers will start to reveal your next era. Life is made up of distinct seasons, each marked by different goals, experiences, and personal growth. While some shifts occur naturally, you can also consciously decide to start a new chapter—whether or not life events push you there.
5. Create a Vision Board or Theme
To bring your vision to life, create a vision board. Collect images, words, and symbols that represent this new chapter and put them somewhere you’ll see regularly. Visualization is incredibly powerful. A 2019 study found that individuals who used vision boards doubled their confidence in their ability to achieve their goals.
Alternatively, you can choose a theme for this next era of your life. Your theme becomes a guiding principle that informs every decision. For example, if your theme is “reinvention,” you should make choices that challenge you to do things differently—go to that party alone, wear that bold outfit, take on that new project.
6. Implement a Timeline for Change
Goal setting is essential, but massive overhauls often lead to burnout. Research shows that small, consistent changes are more sustainable than drastic, immediate shifts. Instead of setting one large, daunting goal, break your reinvention into a manageable timeline:
1-year goal: Where do you want to be in a year?
6-month goal: What should you focus on for the next six months?
1-month goal: What small change can you work on this month?
Daily microhabit: What small, repeatable action can you incorporate into your routine?
This method allows you to balance momentum with realistic, achievable benchmarks. It ensures you make steady progress without feeling overwhelmed.
7. Take Action—No More Delays
The most critical part of reinvention is the shift from thinking to doing. We often tell ourselves we’ll change after a specific event—when the New Year starts, after a vacation, or when things slow down at work. But that mindset can keep us stuck indefinitely.
Reinvention requires action. It's important to build a foundation through consistency, not by sporadic, intense efforts. Start now by implementing the strategies we've discussed and making small, daily changes. With time, you’ll notice seismic shifts in your life.
8. Stop asking yourself ‘what if’ and instead replace that with ‘what else’ or my favourite ‘so what’?
Each of us has an idea of our truest self, the person we would be if no one was watching, if a magical switch was suddenly turned off in our brain that let us be free of others’ opinions, if all we were focused on was ourselves. They’re almost a fantasy, a character we have created that we one day aspire to be. The things that are maintaining that gap between who we are now, and who we could be is normally our fear of judgement, our fear of upsetting others, and their expectations, our fear of embarrassment, of being perceived, that’s a huge one, or our fear of change.
These fears are all maintained by ‘what if’ disaster statements. If I start putting myself out there, if I start being loud about my hobbies, my passions, my desires, if I start wearing what I want, saying no to people, if I let myself be perceived as my truest, authentic self …what if no one likes this version of me? What if I’m ostracised? What if I tell everyone about my dreams and I fail? What if people don’t like this reinvented version of me, what if I lose friends and end up all alone? What if, what if, what if. Not only are most of these very social fears, meaning we are being guided more so by the potential opinions of others, rather than the reality that we are the only one who has to experience and enjoy our lives, but they are also anxious thoughts, not real predictions, and definitely not the truth.
If you listened to our anxiety episode you’ll know that the easiest way to distinguish between an anxious thought, and a thought you should pay attention to is if it begins with ‘what if’. Here’s how we counteract that. We counteract it with what else and so what statements.
Let’s take the statement ‘what if I tell everyone about my dream and I fail, I’ll be so embrassed, so better to play it safe’. That’s one way of thinking, and it is a naturally limited way of thinking, but consider now, ending that statement with ‘so what’. So what if this is what happens, what’s the worst case scenario, you’re embrassed, it’s uncomfortable, but then again so what? What kind of harm can embarrassment really do? This method is about taking an anxious, fear based thought and actually interrogating it, rather than letting it have the final say.
The other option is to say, well what else. What if people don’t like this new version of me? Okay, that’s one unlikely option, but what else, let’s expand this disaster scenario and just go in search of other alternatives – what if I actually attract people who are more aligned with who I truly am, what if I suddenly meet the greatest friends I’ll ever have, what if I suddenly attract the love I’ve always deserved, what if I completely level up every aspect of my life and I’ll never look back.
Remember, the first thought you have is probably not the most accurate and you can grab onto that thought and let it control you, dominate your choices, but you also have this extreme power and ability to be whoever you want to be if you just zoom out and question your fear, replacing again the what if, with what else, or so what.
Finally…
Reinventing yourself in your 20s is about embracing change, finding what excites you, and creating a life that aligns with your authentic self.
At some stage you’re going to have to do something that really scares you, or that you didn’t think possible if you want to grow into your next phase.
By breaking out of emotional patterns, visualizing your future, and implementing gradual, actionable changes, you can shift your life in a meaningful way.