Public speaking is one of the most valuable skills we can develop in our 20s. It’s about more than standing on a stage and giving a speech; it’s about learning to hold a crowd, deliver a message effectively, and be convincing—whether in a professional setting, during a best friend’s wedding toast, or while pitching an idea to investors. The ability to communicate with clarity and confidence can leave a lasting impression.
Yet, for so many of us, public speaking feels terrifying. The possibility of being noticed, judged, or even remembered can be paralyzing. As social creatures, it’s somewhat of a natural fear because humans are paralysed by the idea of doing wrong or making a mistake in front of the people whose opinions we care about the most i.e other members of our species.
In fact, studies suggest that glossophobia, the fear of public speaking, is one of the most common human fears—affecting 75% of people, according to the National Institute of Public Speaking.
I know this fear well. As a teenager, I used to dread any situation that required me to speak publicly. I’d fake being sick to avoid class presentations, and when I had to perform at school, I held the microphone so far from my face that no one could hear me. But today, public speaking is a regular part of my life. Whether I’m hosting live events, delivering keynotes, or giving talks, I’ve learned to not only overcome my fear but to love the energy and connection that public speaking brings.
This transformation didn’t happen overnight. It took practice, self-trust, and an understanding of the psychology behind our fear of public speaking. Today, I want to share some of the lessons and strategies that helped me turn my greatest fear into one of my strongest skills.
Why Are We So Afraid of Public Speaking?
At its core, the fear of public speaking boils down to two things:
The fear of judgment.
The fear of being perceived.
From an evolutionary perspective, these fears make sense. Early humans relied on being accepted by their social group for survival. Being judged or rejected could lead to ostracization, which was a real threat to life. Speaking in front of an audience triggers this fear, activating the brain’s amygdala and initiating a fight-or-flight response, as if we are facing a physical threat. Will they think differently of me, will they think I’m less intelligent, less well spoken, less deserving?
Psychologically, this fear is often linked to the spotlight effect—a phenomenon where we overestimate how much people notice and critique us. We might obsess over minor mistakes or imperfections, imagining the audience is scrutinizing our every move. But here’s the reality: most people are too focused on themselves to notice the things we worry about.
Think back to the last time you watched someone give a speech. Can you remember every word they said? Did you notice if they stumbled or forgot a line? Probably not. This perspective can help us realize that the intense self-criticism we feel is often unwarranted.
I also think it comes down to how we store embarrassing memories. Some people’s storage time for such moments is a lot shorter than others. For me, after a week or two the emotional attachment to an embarrassing moment has lessened, I don’t really feel as bad as I did and by like 2 months I tend to forget, unless someone else brings it up. But for others,
their minds hold on to these moments for years, even decades because of how individually important they feel. It may also be linked to how fixated we are on negative moments – some people brush past those moments easier than others and so those prior events where you felt judged, awkward, cringe on stage or in front of other people may exist in your memory for longer than the person who has no issues public speaking.
All of this to stay – if you fear public speaking, if it’s your worst nightmare, like some 75% of us as that estimate says, well firstly you are not alone, secondly this is something your brain is doing to protect you, its just getting confused because there is not real, dangerous, life ending threat that comes from giving a work presentation, or a speech for your debating class, but thirdly, we think about our actions, words and performance are being scrutinised the way we scrutinise ourselves.
Tips for Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking
Overcoming the fear of public speaking is about shifting your mindset and practicing strategies that build confidence. Here are the techniques that worked for me:
1. Emulate Someone You Admire
One of the most effective ways to build confidence is to picture someone you admire—a charismatic speaker, a mentor, or even a fictional character—and emulate their energy.
This technique is rooted in social learning theory. By mentally stepping into the shoes of someone we admire, we activate neural pathways associated with confidence and competence. This is why embodying their tone, posture, and demeanor can make us feel more self-assured.
I use this trick not just for public speaking but for other intimidating situations, like attending events alone or meeting new people. For example, in the TV show Ted Lasso, the character Rebecca practices “power posing” before speeches—standing tall, arms raised, channeling confidence. It’s a small ritual that can make a big difference.
2. Let Go of Perfection
One of the biggest mistakes people make is trying to memorize their speech word for word. While preparation is important, overly rigid scripts can make you feel flustered if something doesn’t go as planned.
Instead, aim for flow rather than perfection. Create an outline with 4-5 sections and 2-3 key points for each. Use bullet points or keywords as prompts, rather than a full script. This approach gives you enough structure to stay on track while allowing room for spontaneity.
Remember: your audience doesn’t know what you intended to say—they only hear what you actually say. As long as you stay confident, they’ll never know if you skipped a line or rearranged your points.
3. Slow Down
Anxiety often manifests as speed—talking too quickly, stumbling over words, or rushing through a presentation. To counteract this, practice deliberate pauses and slow, intentional pacing.
Slowing down not only calms your nerves but also makes your speech more impactful. It gives the audience time to absorb your message and creates a rhythm that commands attention.
4. Channel Anxiety into Energy
Instead of viewing anxiety as a barrier, reframe it as excitement. Physiologically, the sensations of anxiety—rapid heartbeat, heightened alertness—are similar to those of excitement. By telling yourself, “I’m excited to share this,” you can redirect nervous energy into enthusiasm.
Purposeful movement can also help. Pacing the stage or using hand gestures gives your body a way to release energy, while keeping the audience engaged.
5. Make Eye Contact
Connecting with your audience is key to overcoming fear. Focus on one person for 10-20 seconds before moving to another. This creates a sense of connection and helps you engage with the crowd on a personal level.
Eye contact also activates the audience’s mirror neurons, fostering empathy and rapport. When people feel connected to you, they’re more likely to stay engaged and supportive.
The Psychology of Self-Trust
Ultimately, becoming a great public speaker is about trusting yourself. Trusting that you’ll handle mistakes with grace, that you have something valuable to share, and that the world won’t end if you stumble over a word.
We’re often much harder on ourselves than others are. If you find yourself feeling self-critical, remember this: you’re not being judged nearly as harshly as you think. People are rooting for you, and they’re far more forgiving than you might expect.
Final Thoughts
Public speaking doesn’t have to be a source of fear. With the right mindset and strategies, it can become an opportunity to connect, inspire, and leave a lasting impression.
For me, public speaking has gone from being my biggest fear to one of my favorite parts of my work. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being authentic, prepared, and confident in your ability to handle whatever comes your way.
So the next time you step onto a stage or into a meeting, remember: trust yourself. You’re more capable than you think.
Listen to Episode 249: 5 Tips to Master Public Speaking to learn more tips!