There is a saying: “If it was easy, everybody would be doing it.” When I was in university, I had those words printed on a piece of paper and blue-tacked to my wall. It was my go-to motivation during exam season or when I was working through difficult assignments. It reminded me to embrace the hard, to appreciate that the best rewards often require effort.
As I’ve gotten older, though, I’ve revised my thinking. Yes, some of life’s greatest rewards demand our time, energy, and attention. But does “hard” always have to mean unpleasant or mentally draining? I think these words often get tangled together, and we subconsciously believe that success only comes if we suffer for it. I also think, with that quote, there is this sense that maybe we don’t deserve success, if we don’t almost suffer and strive for it.
Today, I want to offer a different approach—one where we train our brain to enjoy doing hard things. Our brain likes a challenge, even when it’s maybe a bit mentally, or physically painful and that’s something I think we forget. The New York marathon was this week and every time I watch it I think, why does anyone want to do that? And that answer is the outcome and the feeling of doing hard things that exert us is something we value as humans, and it all comes down to the effort paradox – the more effort we put into something, the more we value it. That’s why we value the crappy mug we made at a pottery class more than the one we got from IKEA, the end of a hard project more than an easy one.
Using principles from psychology and neuroscience, we can make the mentally taxing tasks feel easier, find motivation to start, and appreciate the rewards more deeply. Here’s how.
1. The 5-Minute Rule
The hardest part of any task is the beginning—finding the motivation to go from doing nothing to doing something. This transition creates tension because we often perceive the task as daunting or time-consuming. Whether it’s cleaning your house, tackling your taxes, or working out, you know it’s going to take a while and that time commitment is daunting, so makes it easy to procrastinate.
Instead, you can overcome your brains natural tendency to want to avoid beginning a task by just saying ‘I will do this for 5 minutes’
Solution: Commit to just 5 minutes.
Tell yourself, “I’m only going to do this for 5 minutes.” Five minutes feels manageable, and once you start, momentum often carries you forward. Even if you stop after 5 minutes, you’ve made progress—and perfection isn’t the goal. This also helps us manage procrastination because procrastination feeds on our desire for everything to be perfect the first time around, but if the only goal is just to start, this places less of a perfectionistic burden on us.
2. Picture the Best Person You Know at That Thing
Mental imagery is an incredibly powerful tool. Deliberately visualizing someone you admire—or even an idealized version of yourself—excelling at the task can make you feel more capable.
I do this at the gym. I visualize Gym Jemma, an elite version of myself: focused, fit, and unstoppable. This image motivates me to push through difficult parts of my workout.
A great study from 2019 titled ‘Mental imagery as a “motivational amplifier” to promote activities’ showed that when participants visualised themselves doing a hard activity and being successful, or just completing the activity, this was associated with higher activity completion.
I also used this mental imagery, visualisation technique when I was getting over my fear of flying, I would imagine I was someone famous who caught planes all the time and like this was part of my fast life, luxury lifestyle and it made me feel very powerful and capable, and then I would also visualise getting off the plane and it was a game changer.
Pro tip: You can use this trick for almost anything. When you have to do something difficult, be that public speaking, a hard conversation, a daunting deadline, even a long distance flight, picture the best person you know at this thing, or someone you admire doing what you're doing now and copy what you imagine they would do.
3. Choose the Right Mood
Here’s a no-brainer, backed by science: If you’re in a bad mood, you’re less likely to attempt hard tasks. A 2016 study confirmed this. It found that when people are upset or frustrated, they are less likely to do hard things and it makes perfect sense— why would you contribute further to your bad mental state? Additionally, when we pick the wrong mood to start tackling a difficult activity you end up resenting the activity and building negative associations which injures our long term performance. Instead:
Wait for a better mood if you can, or focus on shifting your mindset first (music, a quick walk, or a positive distraction can help).
Remember that completing the hard task will elevate your mood. The pride and relief you feel after accomplishing something difficult can last for hours or even days.
This feel like a waste of a good mood, but actually completing a hard task has been shown to elevate our mood in the minutes, hours and even days after, maybe in part because of the relief of like yay finally I did it, but also because of a sense of pride.
How often do we actually challenge ourselves, when was the last time you looked at the effort you put into something and thought, I really did that, I’m impressed by myself – and did you feel good afterwards... definitely! That is the feeling we're chasing.
4. Practice Learned Industriousness
Learned industriousness is a psychological principle where we fall in love with the process, not just the outcome. Here’s the thing about doing everything for the big golden finish line finish – it takes a while to get there and along that path, there may not be a lot to spur you on and encourage you. If you are doing it all for the final outcome, you will lose steam. People who learn to value effort itself—rather than fixating solely on the finish line—perform better and stay motivated longer.
How to do it:
Romanticize the Process – Turn the hard task into a rewarding experience. When I was writing my book, I imagined I was a famous author like Hemingway, working late into the night with a glass of wine in hand. It made the process feel romantic and worthwhile.
Track Progress – Celebrate small wins and signs of improvement. Sore muscles after a workout? Proof of progress. Feeling mentally drained after a day of work? Evidence of effort.
Reinforce Effort with Rewards – Use positive reinforcement to make hard tasks feel more enjoyable. For example, reward yourself after reaching milestones—a small treat, a break, or something fun. This is rooted in the hedonic principle: we’re wired to seek pleasure and avoid discomfort. The more candy you offer to a child, the more excited they are to go to the dentist. The more treats you give a puppy, the more obedient they become, allegedly. You can do that for yourself by providing smaller rewards in lieu of the bigger reward.
You can also create a schedule for positive reinforcement associated with the hard thing you need to do or the change in your routine you are committed to. I see a lot of people do this for savings goals, every $100, $200, you reserve $20 to spend on something fun for yourself so you keep up momentum, but you can apply that anywhere.
We have seen this with studies on rats, they will run longer on a little treadmill or whatever the rat equivalent of that is, a hamster wheel, if the reward is bigger, but will stop if they don’t get a reward, super simple right, but it’s something we need to remember when it comes to getting used to the discomfort that accompanies long term goals.
5. Build Intrinsic and Integrated Motivation
Motivation comes in different forms but the two main ones are:
Intrinsic Motivation – Doing something because you enjoy it.
Integrated Motivation – Doing something because it aligns with your values and identity.
The ultimate goal is intrinsic motivation—when the hard thing no longer feels hard because you genuinely enjoy it. Think about activities you love: going to the beach, reading your favourite book, or catching up with friends. You don’t force yourself to do those things; you look forward to them.
But for tasks you’ll never enjoy (like cleaning the toilet or navigating a painful IVF process), aim for integrated motivation. Tie the task to a bigger purpose or your sense of self:
“I clean the house because I’m someone who cares about my environment and respects my roommates.”
“I endure this process because I deeply want to become a parent.”
“I study hard because I believe in building a better future for myself.”
Aligning hard tasks with your values gives them meaning and makes them feel worth the effort.
6. Use Pre-Commitment Devices
If all else fails, use external motivation to hold yourself accountable. Pre-commitment devices are tools rooted in social and behavioral psychology that bind you to your goals.
Examples include:
Scheduling tasks publicly (telling others about your plans).
Setting deadlines with rewards or consequences.
Finding an accountability partner.
When you make your commitment external, you’re less likely to back out because you’ve created external pressure to follow through.
My Final Thoughts
Training your brain to do hard things doesn’t mean making life miserable. It’s about understanding how your brain works—how it responds to effort, motivation, and reward—and using that knowledge to your advantage. Whether you’re building a new habit, tackling a big project, or simply trying to stop procrastinating, these principles can help.
Remember: doing hard things isn’t just about the outcome. It’s about who you become in the process. The effort paradox tells us that the more we invest, the more we value the result—and the person we are on the other side.
So start small, train your mind, and watch yourself accomplish things you never thought possible. You’ve got this.